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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

ARE YOU LOVING OR PAMPERING YOUR CHILD

There can be no doubt that children should be loved. It is a wonderful experience to love children. No sane man can dispute this, to my knowledge.
What we don’t understand is what is the love to be given to children. We are not able to differentiate between pampering and love.
The question is, does love mean to give to your child what it wants and in the manner it wants or does love mean that you give to the child what it needs and what it deserves.
The utmost kindness of the parents often requires most unkind acts by them. Every one and more so a child needs a Guru. Guru is the person who in the normal parlance we call “ friend, philosopher and guide. “ This position should initially be filled by parents.
In the name of love we develop tolerance, we become tolerant to the imperfections of the children. When you pamper a child, it would become egoistic. Pampering is a fa├žade. The parents would appear nice. The child will get what it wants and in the manner it wants. But there is no mirror which would reflect to the child its nature and its deficiencies.
If you love the child you will take the risk of the child mistaking you and you would work as a constructive critic. By pampering you will make your child not to see the realities.
All of us have deficiency of our own. The greatest deficiency is we are not able to have objective approach on issues concerning us. Objective approach is a very very important thing. We need guidance quite often. We do not know to whom we should go for guidance. In the above circumstances it is very desirable to have a Guru. Such Guru to children is invariably parents.
A Guru would certainly have great love to the disciple or follower, whatever you call. But it is the job of the Guru to be firm and to show kindness by being firm and by being unkind. Compassion of Guru makes him severre.Unless he is severe he is not of much use. Pampering weakens you, while love creates you.

1 comment:

  1. Children are anabsolute pleasure to the parents and others alike. Generally Grand parents has the dubious distinction of spoiling their grand children because they have no difference between love and pamper to their grand children. I would like to coution the parents not to abuse or punish the children unless they have already appreciated or encouraged their good work at least ten times before they do so.

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