I have always emphasized the importance of communication to my son and daughter-in-law. Communication is the basic lifeline for proper relation to exist and continue. If there is no communication or if there is improper communication it would severe the relation. In this regard I liked a passage from T.T. Rangarajan’s Unposted letter and I am extracting it.
“The secret of emotional health is to tell the persons who hurt you that they hurt you, when they hurt you. Otherwise, these incomplete cycles will reappear sometime in the future and ruin even your good times.
You are telling me, ‘Honestly, if I start expressing all my thoughts and feelings, I will hurt the person who matters so much to me.’ I am telling you, ‘If you don’t, you will eventually hurt the relationship itself.’
Let us learn to face the truth, even if it hurts. Let those who matter to us the most learn to face the truth, even if it hurts. Communicate your thoughts and feelings directly to the person who instigated it. Be prompt. Don’t wait for ideal conditions. Be simple. Finish your complaint and let go. Don’t exaggerate, don’t nag; avoid overkill. If the person feels with you, you have succeeded. If not, understand who you are dealing with. Accept what is. Forgive and let go of your hurt. Move on …. You have nothing to prove.”
Although I had emphasized on the need to communicate, I never had the clarity. I read it today. I am very happy.
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Awesome ..!! loved every word of it!! Title is just marvellous! I personally think, that Diplomacy is a Gaffe!! just open up and speak! I really feel nothing works but for communication !As supreme beings we are gifted with a mouth.. y not use it for communication and expression??! The proverb "Speech is silver, silence is golden"beats my logic! well at the same time i m for a second not saying u got to zig while u have to zag and speak nonstop and nonsense! Atleast speak, express and communicate wen u have to na!
ReplyDeletewell i kno one friend who does not express any problem,any view of her's, she remains almost pokerfaced, trust me, she is liked by most of them, for staying silent and non controversial..! haha!!! I would rather express myself from within n still not be liked, than stay quiet and earn a good name! oh! for what joy? come on!!
To confess, i actually learnt this very big lesson of expressing and communicating from my ALMAMATER classes, who opened a fresh leaf in my life!They also gave this phrase"9hole celebration"! which meant celebrate and express ur self from all the 9 holes of ur body!!!(u wonderiing.. jus count )
And definitely not to forget my FIL who has been so supportive and open to communications, has made my life way too easier and lighter!! Thanks pop!!( well, he sld learn how to express a lil more though!!)
There is no doubt that communication is a basic tool. It is important to avoid prejudice for any communication. Prejudice in this context is not to connect pre determined understanding of a person with whom you want to communicate, but examine the present situation fairly before you communicate. Generally it is the fourth time you boil and communicate to fight, even when the fourth, may not be very grave which requires a fight.
ReplyDeleteI would like to add to above that the tolerance levels is proportional to love factor. If you love a person his comments are taken in a right spirit, otherwise the same comment may explode to unwanted situations.
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